Psychic Hotline Confirms Motive Behind Theft of Polar 3D Printers

When a terrible crime is committed, one of the first questions asked is “Why?”You may recall the story of the highly selective thieves who smashed their way into the Polar 3D headquarters in Cincinnati in August, stealing 22 printers in six minutes.

In the aftermath of the crime, Steve Kayser of Polar 3D wanted answers. What was the thieves’ motive? What did they have against MakerBots, which were left callously on the shelves while the less expensive Polar 3D printers were taken? Kayser turned to the most reliable resource for crime-solving: a psychic hotline.

Naturally, the psychic operating the hotline knew exactly who Kayser was, and why he was calling. Within seconds, he delivered the shocking motive behind the crime, but advised that the truth may be difficult to handle, especially for the beleaguered MakerBots.

“The Polar 3D Printer is half the size of the MakerBot, prints four times the build volume, and costs 75% less than the MakerBot,” the psychic said. “They can’t handle the truth!”

Kayser wondered if it went deeper than that. Crime is often a response to frustration and disenchantment, and he deduced that the thieves were lashing out in anger over the inferiority of their MakerBot printers. Rather than demand the thieves be found and locked up, however, he decided that the best course of action was to address the problem at its source, and to give would-be criminals a healthier, more lawful option to deal with their anger.

“This call resulted in two historic firsts for the 3D Desktop printing industry,” Kayser explained to 3DPrint.com:

1. The thieves and their real intentions were revealed.
2. The results of the call led to an outreach program for the frustrated criminals that allowed them to be reformed and rapidly reintroduced successfully into the 3D Desktop Printer Community.

If MakerBots led to crime, then why not get them off the streets? Much like a gun trade-in program, he created a MakerBot extruder trade-in program. Of course, the psychic picked up on that idea right away, too, and described the program in astonishing detail.

“Trade in a MakerBot extruder and get a $100 dollar coupon for a new, sleek Polar 3D printer for less than the cost of a cell phone?” the psychic ventured.

Shocked, Kayser confirmed that that was exactly what he had been thinking, and set the new program in place immediately. Even the career criminals with more than one MakerBot extruder can be helped by the rehabilitation effort. A $100 coupon will be issued for each extruder that is traded in by December 31, although only one coupon can be used per printer. The coupon takes the price of a new Polar 3D printer from $799 to $699, and, since education is a critical part of crime prevention, schools, students and educators can purchase additional printers for $499 each.

While the thieves may not have been identified, Kayser, for his part, was extremely satisfied with his psychic crime-solving experience. With the motive behind the crime confirmed, he could now move forward to prevent it from happening again.

He added:

“The results of the call led to an outreach program for the frustrated criminals that allowed them to be reformed and rapidly reintroduced successfully into the 3D Desktop Printer Community.”

Be sure to listen to the entire phone call for the full experience of this psychic delivering on the news.  Let’s hear your thoughts on this theft in the Polar 3D Forum thread on 3DPB.com.

(Also please note this is all in the spirit of good fun; most 3D printing business decisions do not rely on the psychic hotline!) (That we know of.)