Who doesn’t love something that promises to provide you with whatever you want in only three easy steps, right? After all, three seems to be the biggest number of things that most of us can hold in our over-taxed minds between remembering which kid needs to go to the dentist and where, exactly, we have left the family dog. What those steps are, of course, depends on what it is that you want (quickly) at the end and while there are numerous guides out there for thin thighs, landing a mate, and getting that big promotion, there has been a gaping chasm in the literature regarding failure coaching.
In sweeps Bartosz Bos, the veritable anti-Iacoca of successful failure…on the quick. If you’ve been watching 3D print startups fail, but aren’t sure what the key decisions were that could guarantee such disastrous underperformance, Bos has taken years of study and condensed the lessons of multiple 3D print businesses into a surefire elixir of doom, shared via Aniwaa. So strap in because we’re about to launch into a downward spiral of terror and despair.
The key to any abysmal drop to the bottom is to start out aiming for the impossible. I know we’ve all been told that we can do anything if we put our minds to it, but given the number of us who started out dreaming of being astronauts, beauty queens, and the dictators of small island nations, it should be clear that this is not the case. It’s a lesson that is essential to forget if you really want to hit rock bottom. Luckily, step one is designed for the faint of heart and rather than hard work, requires only the minimal effort of making lazy assumptions. As Bos explains:
“Start with a premise that sounds good to the unitiated. Aterm or phrase brimming with common sense, but based completely on anecdotal evidence or personal opinion and having absolutely no basis in reality. ‘Sex Sells’ comes to mind. It’s broad enough for a large number of people to instinctively agree with it whether it has merit or not.”
“People like a bit of craziness…so a surprising amount of them will gravitate towards your now fledgeling (sic) startup, but rest assured, this is only temporary as all but one will kindly retract their offers to join your team after about an hour of thinking about what they’re getting into…What matters is the thunderous applause after your asskicking pitch (with sweet graphics) and the way you cleverly dress down the judges after they dare question the validity of your concept,” Bos explains.
Now the only thing standing between you and professional, full time, world class failure is an ability to learn nothing from your mistakes. Don’t worry, keep your chin up, and always remember: I don’t believe in you. Discuss your failures over in the 3D Printing I Failed forum on 3DPB.com.